Frequently Asked Questions About Dori and the Programs
How long have you been doing what you do and how did you get to be a Divorce Mentor?
I have been studying holistic health for 20+ years and practicing it for 18 years. My decision to become a divorce coach was made in 2018, and was based on the knowledge Ive accumulated over the past 14 years. I realized the advice I was giving friends and they were putting to work in their own lives could help countless others fast-track themselves through divorce and into a life they love.
Who are your clients exactly?
My clients are people who can see the possibility of a full and fulfilling life after divorce. They see it as a time for transformation. They are willing to do the work, the hard work, of looking at themselves and their situations with honesty. They are more than likely, usually, positive people, who want to move forward with their lives.
How are you different from other “divorce coaches?”
Many other divorce coaches are focused on the financial and legal aspects of their clients’ divorces. My focus is on the YOU of the divorce, like How are you feeling? How can we get you where you want to be as gracefully as possible?
What type of personality do you work best with and what is expected of me?
People who do the work, take themselves and the work seriously, and have a measure of self-awareness do well with me. People who want to work holistically, people with creative sides, often introverts, do really well with me and I with them. My expectation of my clients is mostly that you show up for yourself, and respect the work we are doing together.
For what type of person is this program NOT going to work?
People who are stuck in blame and not willing to look at their own part of the divorce won’t resonate with the program.
What exactly is the Art of Graceful Divorce and what does it include?
Find out all about it here.
Does this really work?
YES! Is it an easy path? NO. But it’s the one that has the best odds of bringing you to a life you love living, free of the past and knowing deep inside you can handle whatever life throws at you.
What results can I expect?
That’s entirely up to you and your commitment to the work. Many of the tools can work in just about any stressful life transition, so the potential impact on your entire life is huge. The goal is for future relationships to achieve a level of intimacy and truth that may have eluded you in the past, and for you to know yourself truly and deeply.
How quickly can I expect results?
Results can be seen immediately for some of the tools and tips, while the real deep stuff, the emotional work, may take months or even years to sink all the way in. While you’re in the program you’ll have accountability to support and hold you, and a safe space to explore.
Will I recover the investment I put into this coaching program?
Yes. I believe there is no price you can put on releasing the past and healing the heart and spirit. These tools and the knowledge you’ll acquire has the potential to shift the trajectory of the rest of your life. There’s really no price to put on that.
Do you accept credit cards?
Yes, and Zelle and Paypal. Your choice!
OK, I know I want to do this. How do we get started?
Book a discovery call with me and we’ll get you set up!
If I’m not sure I’m ready to get started, how can I sample your work at low cost to see if it’s the right solution for me?
I’d suggest you watch the videos here – especially the Weaving a Divorce Safety Net series.
I have a family and a busy life. Although I want to feel myself again badly, I don’t have much time to spare. How much time do I need?
This work is designed to take about 1 hour per week, on average. As with anything else in life, the more effort you put into it, the more you’ll get out of it.
OK, I’m ready to do this for myself, but I have a couple of additional questions. Can I call you?
Please do! Book a discovery call and we’ll get those answered.
Frequently Asked Questions about Divorce and Divorce Mentors
Who should you have on your professional team for maximum support during divorce?
Most importantly, a divorce attorney who is committed to your best interest. Collaborative divorce is another option, as well as mediation. Ideally you will seek the advice of a financial planner, realtor, estate planning attorney, and therapist (for yourself and your children). Another person to enlist is a divorce mentor or coach.
It’s important to remember throughout the process that your divorce attorney is not your therapist, financial planner, or someone to vent to. While the majority of divorce attorneys are sympathetic and want the end result to be in your best interest, they have a specific role: to advocate for you and protect you legally. Attempting to use your attorney for emotional support will end up costing you more money that you need to spend, and will pull the attorney away from his or her work on your behalf.
What does a divorce mentor or coach do? What situations do they help with?
The divorce mentor or coach is the person who helps you put all the pieces of your life back together during and after divorce. She helps you work though feelings of overwhelm, grief, fear, anger, and panic and give you tools to face these feelings and heal them. She provides practical advice and guidance aimed at helping you show up for yourself with strength and power no matter what is being thrown at you.
The divorce mentor acts as a sounding board and objective advisor. She encourages positive actions to take to rebuild your life.
The goal of the divorce mentor is for you to come through the divorce process proud of who you were throughout it, and proud of who you’ve become as a result. She will hold you to your highest goals for yourself, and help you learn to view divorce as a time of powerful, and ultimately positive, transformation.
What is a common but possibly unexpected situation in divorce for which a divorce mentor can prepare you?
Every divorce is different, and everyone experiences it in her own way. One common denominator seems to be around not taking care of our physical needs when we are under a great deal of stress. A divorce mentor can help you figure out how to make sure you are getting the rest, exercise, and nutrition you need to be at your mental and emotional best.
My clients benefit from my 20 years of experience in holistic healthcare. We cover everything from how to fall asleep and stay asleep, to relaxation techniques, to natural ways to reduce the effects of stress and anxiety. Helping women feel and look their best is one of my favorite things about what I do as a divorce mentor.
What is the secret to not losing yourself during divorce?
What I have seen work for my clients (and for myself during my own divorce) is that the key to staying true to your highest self through this turbulent time is knowing what is important to you from the start and anchoring yourself to it. One of the first things I work on with clients is establishing their “why.” Why do they need their lives to be how they envision them? What’s their core motivation for achieving the life they most want? Knowing your “why” and knowing how to anchor yourself to it will keep you on track when you’re being emotionally triggered, and feeling overwhelmed and out of control.
What are a couple things you can do to be at your best when working with your attorney?
First, make sure you have the professional support you need for understanding your new financial situation, emotional needs, anything else that is not specifically legal in nature. Having your other needs met by the appropriate professional will clear your plate mentally to focus on the legal aspects of the divorce with your divorce attorney.
Equally important is keeping yourself in a calm state during interactions with your attorney. I teach clients several grounding techniques that can be done quietly and unobtrusively before, during, and after any in-person meetings or phone calls.
Do you have any suggestions for getting back into dating?
Heal from your past relationships before trying to date again, or you’ll repeat the same patterns.
I spend a lot of time on this with clients. The first step is to look at what actions or reactions from your ex trigger strong, negative emotional responses in you. Those are the key to what you need to heal in YOURSELF.
What can someone do to get the support she needs during divorce, outside of professional services?
I am a fan of Facebook groups and Meet Up. Both platforms offer places to meet people who understand what you’re going through, allow for safe venting, and offer emotional support.
The Art of Graceful Divorce is another way to get positive support during divorce.